Danger Bunny's Screen Caps - The Bachelor, September 29, 2004

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On the show from the week before last week's show in the stupidest rose ceremony yet, one bachelor was labeled the Big Loser(tm) and forced to continue being humiliated on the show for the next several weeks. The other bachelor got to go home, except for some minor crying in the limo his pride and dignity were pretty much intact.

The next day fish-boy got a chance to meet with the ladies individually and in small groups. He was able to spend more than one-hundred fifty seconds with some of them, [sarcasm mode=on] plenty of time to decide which fifteen ladies he would like to keep around [sarcasm mode=off] during the most jaundiced rose ceremony yet.

"Good morning ladies, how do you like my attempt to look casual and hip? You'll noticed that not only did I take off my tie and jacket but I rolled up my sleeves, pretty stylin' wouldn't you say?"
"Hey bitch, this is my house! Don't think you can just be movin' in and takin' over".
"You better watch were I'm going, I don't want to accidentally step on you and squash you like a bachelorette's self-esteem".

"I really want to be married and Byron has all the characteristics I'm looking for in a husband, he's a guy and he's breathing".
Great dress but wrong bra.

"To my new roommates -- ah, roommates who live next door!"
"Umm, Byron? we generally call the people who live next door neighbours".
"I'm glad Byron is moving in so I can get to know him in a relaxed atmosphere. I'm nervous about going on a date with him because I haven't been on a date since the late eighties".

"So when's the first food challenge? I'm getting tired of peanut butter sandwiches all ready".
"So you have that two and a half year itch".
"I do! But their's a new ointment for it, so it's OK now".

"Andrea is acting like she's really fallen for this guy all ready, I think she's trying to out-psycho me. There's no way I'm going to let her be the bigger psycho".
"Will you share this love sandwich(tm) with me? As we eat it our souls will join and we will become one".
"What's in it?"
"Cheese".

"I need him to pick me to go on the date tonight".
"OK, but you know that might not happen".
"Whatch you talkin' about Willis?"
"I had to write out an invitation and that was tough with only a fourth grade education".

"I ran over and grabbed the invitation praying it better be me, it better be me"

That's not a prayer, a prayer would be let it be me, that's a threat. You're threatening God! You really are psycho!
"When Byron asked me out on the date tonight I was really excited, but I was also nervous because the invitation was written in crayon".

"I'm really looking forward to my date with Bryon, finally a man who won't get nervous when I bring up marriage on the first date".
"We went to this club where Brandy was lip-syncing. I guess her carreer isn't doing too well, we were the only people there".

"Does the screen-fuzz make my butt look big?"

Yes, yes it does. What are you doing? Auditioning for a part on Barely Cooking?
"I saw Kristie leaving Byron a note so I knew I had to leave him one too. When I found out she'd left him flowers I almost freaked!"

Almost?

"So I picked fourteen flowers and as I picked them I imaged myself pulling off the heads of the other women. It felt so good I picked fourteen more".

"Ugh, flowers."
"Guys are never going to understand why women like flowers but we accept that they do. Why can't women understand that guys don't care about flowers? Why am I asking you?"
"Arf arf". Translation: "I need to go walkies".

"This is a family network so let's pretend that we don't hate each other, OK?"
"OK, hey get off me, ewww now I need a shower".
"Spending time here with the girls and Byron has made me realize something, I'm gay".

That has given me the best idea for the next Bachelorette, it would really boost male viewership in the all-important 15 to 45 demographic. One bachelorette wooing 25 other Bachelorettes -- it would probably have to be on after 10 pm though.

Wow, I'm surprised that got past the censors.
"I'm sad that I didn't get the invitation for tonight's date, I'm running out of time -- my looks aren't going to last much longer".

"This special evening I would like to spend a special night with a special women in a special place finding a synonym for special that I can use in future invitations".
"I'm nervous about tonight's date, because I'm so shy I feel that if I don't open up to him tonight I'll be a virgin forever".

"We're going fishing? But I didn't wear a bra!"
"What's a bra got to do with fishing?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you noticed".
"Oh I noticed!"
"Why are we fishing in a lake that has no fish?"
"I don't understand your question".

"Wow, I can't believe you kissed the fish".
"That's nothing, I kissed a lawyer once. At least I knew the fish wasn't going to try to paw me!"
Check out the colour of Byron's shirt. The camera guys are using a blue filter to make the scene look darker than it really is. More non-reality in reality-TV.

"When little Miss. Hawaii told us she was leaving we were all glad, because she's better looking than the rest of us".
"With Lenia leaving it makes room at the next Rose Ceremony for Bryon's eleventh favourite women to stay".

[sarcasm mode=on] One women just got really lucky. [sarcasm mode=off]

[Limo-Natzi mode=on] "You leave before rose ceremony, No limo for you!" [Limo-Natzi mode=off]
"Are you cold?"
"No".
"But you're shaking?"
"That's just sexual frustration".
"Tell me about it, I've taken so many showers since I got here I have dish-pan body".
"Oh, I thought that was just because of your age..."

"Because the show's producers are such cheap bastards there will be no Rose Ceromeny Party tonight. Instead you will have the opportunity to talk with three women that you're on the fence about in a segment we like to call, The Desperate Pleas of the Unloved".
"I'm not really getting that I want you vibe from you so I wanted to find out what's going on?"
"I have some concerns about you being previously married to an exotic-dancer turned playboy model".
"What's wrong with that?"

"The reason I asked you here is because I'm not really sure you want to be here, or if you're just having a problem showing me how you feel because you're shy".
"I just want you to know mumble mumble mumble".
"It seems to me that Kristie is trying to sell herself to me -- it's as if she feels like she's in a competition with a bunch of other women for my affection. That's a concern to me".

"I just realized that I'm going to cry in the limo".
"What are you talking about? You're not going to cry".
"Yes I am, it says so in the script".
"I'm glad I got to spend that extra time with these three women, it made my choice even harder".

Is there an sign at The Bachelor's casting office the says "Your IQ has to be at least this low to apply"?

"This is the final rose".
"Dude, why do you keep saying that? Do you think the viewers are so stupid that they can't figure out that this is the final rose unless you tell them that this is the final rose?"
"No, we're worried you can't figuring it out".
"Oh, that makes sense. How many roses do I have left?"

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On the show from the week before last week's show in the stupidest rose ceremony yet, one bachelor was labeled the Big Loser(tm) and forced to continue being humiliated on the show for the next several weeks. The other bachelor got to go home, except for some minor crying in the limo his pride and dignity were pretty much intact. The next day fish-boy got a chance to meet with the ladies individually and in small groups. He was able to spend more than one-hundred fifty seconds with some of them, [sarcasm mode=on] plenty of time to decide which fifteen ladies he would like to keep around [sarcasm mode=off] during the most jaundiced rose ceremony yet.
"Good morning ladies, how do you like my attempt to look casual and hip? You'll noticed that not only did I take off my tie and jacket but I rolled up my sleeves, pretty stylin' wouldn't you say?"	"Hey bitch, this is my house! Don't think you can just be movin' in and takin' over". "You better watch were I'm going, I don't want to accidentally step on you and squash you like a bachelorette's self-esteem".
"I really want to be married and Byron has all the characteristics I'm looking for in a husband, he's a guy and he's breathing".	Great dress but wrong bra.
"To my new roommates -- ah, roommates who live next door!" "Umm, Byron? we generally call the people who live next door neighbours".	"I'm glad Byron is moving in so I can get to know him in a relaxed atmosphere. I'm nervous about going on a date with him because I haven't been on a date since the late eighties".
"So when's the first food challenge? I'm getting tired of peanut butter sandwiches all ready".	"So you have that two and a half year itch". "I do! But their's a new ointment for it, so it's OK now".
"Andrea is acting like she's really fallen for this guy all ready, I think she's trying to out-psycho me. There's no way I'm going to let her be the bigger psycho".	"Will you share this love sandwich(tm) with me? As we eat it our souls will join and we will become one". "What's in it?" "Cheese".
"I need him to pick me to go on the date tonight". "OK, but you know that might not happen". "Whatch you talkin' about Willis?"	"I had to write out an invitation and that was tough with only a fourth grade education".
"I ran over and grabbed the invitation praying it better be me, it better be me" That's not a prayer, a prayer would be let it be me, that's a threat. You're threatening God! You really are psycho!	"When Byron asked me out on the date tonight I was really excited, but I was also nervous because the invitation was written in crayon".
"I'm really looking forward to my date with Bryon, finally a man who won't get nervous when I bring up marriage on the first date".	"We went to this club where Brandy was lip-syncing. I guess her carreer isn't doing too well, we were the only people there".
"Does the screen-fuzz make my butt look big?" Yes, yes it does. What are you doing? Auditioning for a part on Barely Cooking?	"I saw Kristie leaving Byron a note so I knew I had to leave him one too. When I found out she'd left him flowers I almost freaked!" Almost? "So I picked fourteen flowers and as I picked them I imaged myself pulling off the heads of the other women. It felt so good I picked fourteen more".
"Ugh, flowers."	"Guys are never going to understand why women like flowers but we accept that they do. Why can't women understand that guys don't care about flowers? Why am I asking you?" "Arf arf". Translation: "I need to go walkies".
"This is a family network so let's pretend that we don't hate each other, OK?" "OK, hey get off me, ewww now I need a shower".	"Spending time here with the girls and Byron has made me realize something, I'm gay". That has given me the best idea for the next Bachelorette, it would really boost male viewership in the all-important 15 to 45 demographic. One bachelorette wooing 25 other Bachelorettes -- it would probably have to be on after 10 pm though.
Wow, I'm surprised that got past the censors.	"I'm sad that I didn't get the invitation for tonight's date, I'm running out of time -- my looks aren't going to last much longer".
"This special evening I would like to spend a special night with a special women in a special place finding a synonym for special that I can use in future invitations".	"I'm nervous about tonight's date, because I'm so shy I feel that if I don't open up to him tonight I'll be a virgin forever".
"We're going fishing? But I didn't wear a bra!" "What's a bra got to do with fishing?" "Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you noticed". "Oh I noticed!"	"Why are we fishing in a lake that has no fish?" "I don't understand your question".
"Wow, I can't believe you kissed the fish". "That's nothing, I kissed a lawyer once. At least I knew the fish wasn't going to try to paw me!"	Check out the colour of Byron's shirt. The camera guys are using a blue filter to make the scene look darker than it really is. More non-reality in reality-TV.
"When little Miss. Hawaii told us she was leaving we were all glad, because she's better looking than the rest of us".	"With Lenia leaving it makes room at the next Rose Ceremony for Bryon's eleventh favourite women to stay". [sarcasm mode=on] One women just got really lucky. [sarcasm mode=off]
[Limo-Natzi mode=on] "You leave before rose ceremony, No limo for you!" [Limo-Natzi mode=off]	"Are you cold?" "No". "But you're shaking?" "That's just sexual frustration". "Tell me about it, I've taken so many showers since I got here I have dish-pan body". "Oh, I thought that was just because of your age..."
"Because the show's producers are such cheap bastards there will be no Rose Ceromeny Party tonight. Instead you will have the opportunity to talk with three women that you're on the fence about in a segment we like to call, The Desperate Pleas of the Unloved".	"I'm not really getting that I want you vibe from you so I wanted to find out what's going on?" "I have some concerns about you being previously married to an exotic-dancer turned playboy model". "What's wrong with that?"
"The reason I asked you here is because I'm not really sure you want to be here, or if you're just having a problem showing me how you feel because you're shy". "I just want you to know mumble mumble mumble".	"It seems to me that Kristie is trying to sell herself to me -- it's as if she feels like she's in a competition with a bunch of other women for my affection. That's a concern to me".
"I just realized that I'm going to cry in the limo". "What are you talking about? You're not going to cry". "Yes I am, it says so in the script".	"I'm glad I got to spend that extra time with these three women, it made my choice even harder". Is there an sign at The Bachelor's casting office the says "Your IQ has to be at least this low to apply"?
"This is the final rose". "Dude, why do you keep saying that? Do you think the viewers are so stupid that they can't figure out that this is the final rose unless you tell them that this is the final rose?" "No, we're worried you can't figuring it out". "Oh, that makes sense. How many roses do I have left?"