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 "Today Sarah and I are taking Nowlah, the dog they rented for me, to the park to hang out". |
 "I was so excited when I found out Travis comes from Nashville. We go to the same gym, we shop at the same store, we get kicked out of the same bars. It just goes to show how self-centered an unobservant we both are that we never met before". |
 "My Dad's kinda quiet. Having three girls I think he's learned to just keep his mouth shut. That's something you'll have to learn". |
 "So where do you want to end up?" "Hosting the tonight show. Oh you mean where do I want to live, I'd like to live near the mountains". |
 "But, there are no mountains in Nashville. My family's in Nashville. Why do you want to take me away from my family?". "I don't want to take you away from your family, I want to get away from mine". |
 "What do yawl think of Travis?" "I think he's cute, I gave him my number in case it doesn't work out with you". |
 "So this is my house, since you probably won't make it to the final two I figured I'd show you around now". |
 "This is the kitchen". "It's awesome, it's so clean". "I've never used it, on the rare occasions I eat at home I get pizza delivered". |
 "When I first met Travis I was disappointed that I'm already married". |
 "We live, half a mile from each other and we've never met. Of course I'm at the hospital fourteen hours a day and the occasional time I go out I head downtown to the clubs where all the sluts hang out". |
 "What do you like about emergency medicine?" "When a sick patient comes in I love the feeling of having their life in my hands, it makes me feel like I'm a God!" |
 "So have you been romantic, a little smooching?" "No we haven't". "Good, so I've still got a window". |
 "I think your burgers are cookin' a little faster than your chicken". "I think you're right". "Not that I want to tell you how to cook on your own grill, you're just screwing it up so badly I had to say something". |
 "Travis did nothing but make us feel comfortable, feel welcome, feel at home. He's a real Southern Gentleman. He's too slick, I don't trust him!" |
 "So what were you two talking about out here". "Grillin'". "Didn't you discuss your feelings?" "Of course not, we're guys". |
 "This is great, this is so great. I'm going to be able to tease you about this for years!" |
 "Thank you for sharing part of your life with me. But why didn't we go to your parents house?" "There isn't enough room in the trailer for all the TV equipment". |
 "I really like Sarah and I'm trying not to hold it against her that I didn't get to visit a strange city for her hometown date". |
 "I like the other three girls, but since I've already decided to choose Susan at the end, it takes a lot of the pressure off this date". |
 "When I met Travis today I had butterflies in my stomach, who knew I'd be on The Bachelor and Fear Factor at the same time?" |
 "For me, being in a relationship is how I define myself". |
 "Are we allowed to kiss in these gardens, is that against the rules?" "You're drinking alcohol in the park and you're worried kissing is against the rules?" |
 "When Travis asked if he could kiss me it was so sexy, but at the same time he was being such a wuss I almost dumped him". |
 "It's not just what you look like, it's also who you are and how much you make". |
 "Something would have to go awfully wrong during this date for me not to give her a rose. What are you guys doing?" "We're trying to figure out if you've just violated the foreshadowing laws... no you're good". |
 "Are you starting to get nauseous?" "No I'm just pleasantly intoxicated". |
 "What if she went on the show just so she could be on TV? What if she's totally Moana-ing you?" |
 "Is there pressure on the show for you to propose to someone?" "Well yah, that's in my contract but I've been pretty much ignoring everything in my contract so you shouldn't worry too much about that". |
 "There's no acting going on between me and your daughter. It's the other three girls I'm acting with". "How do you know she's not acting with you?" "Until this moment that thought hadn't occurred to me". |
 "Do you think it's going to help launch your career?" "Yes, that's why I went on the show. But marrying a doctor is a good second choice!" |
 "Is what you have here real?" "It's Reality Television Dad! Of course it's not real". |
 "My sense of Travis is that he's a sincere individual and is being totally suckered in by my daughter". |
 "After diner I was very nervous because my mother is an incredibly perceptive person and can see though all my B.S." |
 "I need to convince Travis that I'm here for him, that I'm really sincere. If I can't then I'm not half the actress I think I am". |
 "It does concern me that her mother thinks she's playing me and is just using the show to future her career. Her mother probably knows her better than I do". |
 "We're back in Paris for the rose ceremony because the producers screwed up and didn't arrange for a place to have the rose ceremony in the US". |
 "You've got lovely eyes". |
 "I hope so badly that you'll offer me a rose because I really need a greed card so I can get away from my parents". |
 "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm really looking forward to falling in love with you. And I'm not just reading that from a script, I'm doing a little improvising as well". |
 "Seeing Moana's message confused me the most, I didn't think she was that good an actress". |
 "I had a wonderful time at each of your homes, meeting your families, you parents. See, I can fake sincerity just as well as the rest of you". |
 "Moana". "Bitch". "Bitch". |
 "For the last time, stop checking out my package!" |
 "Sarah". "Which Sarah, don't leave us hanging you bastard!" "The other Sarah". |
 "In some ways I feel like, we're from different countries, we want different things out of life. I want to own thousands of guns and you want socialized medicine". |
 "We just met too soon. But you have my number and any relationship I get out of this show will be over in two months, tops. Give a call when you get your visa". |
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